Perfectionism Counselling Canberra

You are not just driven. You are running on adrenaline.

book now

The High-Functioning Trap.

It feels like the anxiety to be perfect never ends.

That unrelenting drive to ensure every detail is flawless isn't just ambition; it is a way to preemptively silence criticism.

Your high standards act as a safety shield, protecting you from the terrifying possibility of being seen as "less than." You don’t need to learn how to do more; you need to learn that you are safe enough to do less.

.

Self-Oriented

A core pillar of maladaptive perfectionism, where the internal perfectionism meaning is tied to a moving target of achievement and self-worth.

"I must be perfect to be worthy."

Socially Prescribed

Rooted in what causes perfectionism socially; performing to meet perceived external expectations to avoid judgment or rejection.

"I must be perfect to be accepted."

Other-Oriented

Projecting high standards onto others; while not a formal perfectionism disorder, it creates significant interpersonal distress and isolation.

"They must be perfect to be competent."

Hyper-Vigilance

A key state to address when learning how to overcome perfectionism; the "Radar" brain scanning 24/7 for potential signs of failure.

The Hidden Maintenance Loop

Types of perfectionism.

The perfectionism loop.

What causes perfectionism to persist, regardless of how well you perform?

The answer lies in this maintenance mechanism. It is a self-sustaining loop where achievement never brings the lasting relief you expect. Instead, maladaptive perfectionism ensures the goalposts constantly move, keeping you trapped in a cycle of high-functioning anxiety.

1

Performance-Based Self-Esteem

The foundation of maladaptive perfectionism, where self-worth is tied to performance.

2

Inflexibly High Standards

When considering what causes perfectionism, rigid and unrelenting rules are the engine.

3

Pursuit of Standards

Hyper-vigilance and constant monitoring for errors keep the cycle fueled and exhausting.

Outcome A: Failure
Intense Self-Criticism

Focusing on errors re-confirms feelings of inadequacy, making it harder to learn how to overcome perfectionism.

Outcome B: Success
Moving the Goalposts

Success is minimized as luck, and standards are reset higher, ensuring the perfectionism meaning remains "not enough."

Cycle returns to Step 1
healthy striving
maladaptive perfectionism
Focus on the process, growth, and learning.
Focus on the end result and avoiding failure.
Driven by values aligned ambition.
Driven by fear and the feeling of "not being enough."
Resilience and self-compassion after setbacks.
Self-worth crashes when things don't go perfectly.
Standards that motivate and energise you.
Standards that paralyse and drive anxiety.

Can Perfectionism be Treated?

Yes! By what we call ‘healthy striving’

  • perfectionism" itself is not a standalone diagnosis in the DSM-5, maladaptive perfectionism is often a core feature of anxiety disorders and OCD. It becomes a clinical concern when unrelenting standards begin to interfere with your daily life, relationships, or ability to complete tasks. If your need to be perfect is causing significant distress or burnout, it is often a sign of high-functioning anxiety that warrants professional support.

  • Surprisingly, yes. Many adults with ADHD develop perfectionism as a coping mechanism for executive dysfunction. You might over-compensate for a fear of being "messy," "lazy," or "forgetful" by imposing rigid rules on yourself. In this context, perfectionism and ADHD work together as a mask: you work twice as hard to hide the struggle, leading to exhaustion.

  • This is the biggest fear high-achievers have. The short answer is no. Learning how to overcome perfectionism does not mean lowering your standards or becoming "average." It means shifting your motivation from fear of failure to pursuit of excellence. We help you keep your drive but lose the paralyzing anxiety, allowing you to achieve your goals without burning out in the process.

  • This is the biggest fear high-achievers have. The short answer is no. Learning how to overcome perfectionism does not mean lowering your standards or becoming "average." It means shifting your motivation from fear of failure to pursuit of excellence. We help you keep your drive but lose the paralyzing anxiety, allowing you to achieve your goals without burning out in the process.

Frequently Asked Questions.

Motive Counselling Services Specialties

Our Approach to Perfectionism Counselling

book now