develop your emotional vocabulary.
Select a feeling below to begin processing.
decode your feelings.
In relationships, unchecked feelings often lead to toxic patterns of communication like criticism, contempt, or stonewalling. Use this framework, rooted in relationship science, to pinpoint your specific feeling, process your triggers, and decode what you actually need from your partner to reconnect safely.
emotion vs. feeling.
An emotion is a temporary physiological response in your body. It is just data.
A feeling is the conscious label or story your mind assigns to that sensation.
This tool helps you bridge the gap and effectively communicate without escalating conflict.
awaiting selection.
Feelings are passing weather. Select yours from the wheel to begin moving towards clarity.
Context & Narrative
What triggered this feeling? Briefly describe the situation, comment, or interaction that started this emotional wave.
Somatic Interoception
Before clicking next, take a breath and check in with your body. Conflict and intense physical emotions manifest physically first.
Final Reflection
"Naming it to tame it" engages your prefrontal cortex, reducing emotional flooding and the urge to attack or retreat. Use this structured format to communicate your needs clearly to your partner.
Relationship Antidote